Have you ever felt like life is stuck on repeat? The same kinds of jobs, relationships, conflicts, or feelings of burnout… no matter how much you try to change your circumstances?
You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone. The truth is, we don’t just repeat thoughts—we repeat patterns. These patterns are often deeply rooted in beliefs and behaviors we developed early in life, sometimes without even realizing it.
The Patterns You Don’t See, but Live Every Day
Psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Young, founder of Schema Therapy, developed a framework that explains how early experiences create schemas: deep-seated emotional and cognitive patterns that influence how we perceive the world and respond to it. These schemas can lead us to recreate familiar situations, even if they’re painful or self-defeating.
“Schemas act like templates for how we think, feel, and behave. They form in childhood and, unless challenged, continue to shape our adult lives.”
— Young, Klosko, & Weishaar (2003), Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide
But it’s not just in our minds. These patterns are embodied.
You might:
- Tense your shoulders every time you’re given responsibility.
- Shut down when conflict arises, even if your voice is needed.
- Automatically smile or stay quiet to avoid confrontation, even when you’re uncomfortable.
These aren’t conscious choices. They’re rehearsed responses, embedded in your nervous system replaying the same scenes in different costumes.
Are You Truly Present, or Just Performing Familiar Roles?
Most of us walk through life on autopilot, playing out responses we didn’t even choose. That’s where repetition begins not because you’re failing, but because you haven’t fully seen the loop yet.
And presence is the key. When you become aware of the stories you’re telling yourself and how those stories show up in your breath, posture, and decisions you begin to break the cycle.
Because here’s the truth: you can’t change what you don’t see. But once you do see it, you can start to choose differently.
You’re Not Stuck; You’re Being Called to Wake Up
That draining job? The friendship that mirrors an old wound? The overgiving, the fear of letting others down? These aren’t random. They’re reflections. Your body and your life are trying to get your attention.
They’re not hurdles to power through they’re invitations to slow down and ask:
What pattern am I repeating? What am I being asked to learn, or finally let go of?
Repetition Isn’t Failure It’s a Portal
You’re not stuck you’re circling your breakthrough.
And the repeated scenarios you’re experiencing? They’re not here to punish you. They’re here to free you, if you’re willing to look deeper.
“By identifying and understanding our schemas, we can begin to rewrite our patterns—and in doing so, reclaim our freedom.”
— Young et al., 2003
This Isn’t the End, It’s the Edge of Change
The cycle doesn’t have to continue. Once you become aware of the script, you can begin to rewrite it.
But let’s be honest some days, awareness is hard. Some patterns run so deep that seeing them clearly feels like trying to read in the dark.
If you’re struggling to see your way out, ask someone you trust:
“What light do you see in me that I might not be seeing right now?”
Sometimes it takes another person’s eyes to reflect the strength, growth, or quiet courage we’ve been too close to notice.
That reminder a word, a memory, a truth about who you are might just be your moment of gift. And here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be some huge epiphany. It can be a small shift. A single brave step. A breath taken before reacting. A boundary lovingly held.
Those small changes? They’re powerful. They stack. Like a snowball building momentum, these tiny moments of change can grow into a completely new way of being.
You’re Not Alone, Let’s Rewrite the Pattern Together
At Empathy Coaching, we believe the most powerful breakthroughs begin with gentle awareness. You don’t need to have it all figured out you just need to be ready to look. Together, we’ll explore your patterns, reconnect with your presence, and begin to shift the story you’re living.
📅 Ready to move forward with clarity, confidence, and self-compassion?
Book a free consultation with us at Empathy Coaching today.
You’re not stuck. You’re awakening. Let’s walk this path together.